Respite. A beautiful word. What makes it even more beautiful is the fact that soon, this little piggy will be enjoying said respite on a beach in Thailand without the ever watchful eyes of A around!
The last few days have been an absolute nightmare. A has been watching me constantly. Her eyes, like focused laser beams, follow me around with relentless intensity, judging every move I make. If I say no to eating even one tiny thing, she performs the "you're breaking my heart because you don't eat enough" song and dance, even if she has just seen me shovel food into my ever expanding gob. My body, despite the inundation of laxatives, has been slowly re-blubberfying itself. Needless to say, after 3 days of non-stop supervision, eating and laxie-induced purging, I am looking forward to getting back to a good old-fashioned fast!
Finally, I feel like I'm regaining a sense of control. My life has been slipping away from me, my control running away like an unrestrained fat girl cavorting through a candy shop. But now the tide has turned! Today, in the peace of my office, I've happily restricted to less than 500cals, with no more intake planned for the day. I've also got a late meeting tonight, which means I won't be home in time for the evening meal! I feel a happy skip coming on.
The prospect of spending an entire week in a warm, sunny land where the main focus of my attention will be reading a good book, long leisurely walks on the beach and fasting as much as possible. Of course, husband will be with me, but seeing as how he hasn't questioned me about my restriction I shan't let his presence stop me. Unfortunately, when I return it will be alone - husband will be travelling on to other distant lands for work, which will leave me completely at the mercy of A. The only saving grace is that she won't be with us for too much longer after that and things can return to 'normal'.
So this little piggy goes to Thailand. This little piggy will have none. This little piggy shall come home a thinner slice of bacon. At least that's the plan...
Bless to all, xx S