"J'ai déjà mangé, merci"

"I've already eaten, thanks". A phrase I've been using often. Leaving 'dirty' plates out, cooking for hours, claiming an upset stomach when it comes to meals time, or that I've eaten too much whilst in the kitchen. Ensuring I'm seen with a piece of fruit in my grubby little fist or a stick of celery hanging out of my large, flapping gob... I've even taken to pulling food out of the fridge and throwing it away so that there appears to have been some kind of consumption.  Already, I am running out of patience. But still, I persevere. Honestly, I don't know how those of you who still live at home manage! Kudos to you all! 

This weekend was a terrible one. We'd decided to have a party of sorts to welcome A (the pseudo mother) to Australia, so of course there was a glutton's delight of food. Having noticed that I hadn't eaten much, A pushed a plate piled high with all the things I 'love' to eat - potatoes, lamb chops, sausages, bread, cheese - into my recalcitrant hands... urgh. I made a show of consuming some of it, eating around the dead animal and high carb items, but I had to go and have a chaser of laxies after that. I don't know how much damage was done, but I definitely feel like I'm heavier... Happily today, there is the sanctuary of work. A calm, supervision free environment where I can fast to my heart's content.

I'm going to try for a little fast today - just to see if she notices.  30 hours should do it.  Tomorrow I probably won't be able to get away without having some kind of solid food shoved down my gullet, but I shall do all I can to ensure that I remain food-free!  Do whatever it takes. Stay strong, stay in control.  Happiness ensues :)


Bless to all, S xx