The Hypocritic Oath

Hypocrisy. A common fault amongst men and women alike, but there are some who like to take it to the extreme. Do as I say, not as I do... I can do this but you can't... I'm allowed to cheat, but if you do it then we'll have to break up and you'll have to move out for a while...

Ahhh yes, the folly of a stupid, arrogant man. No points for guessing whose lips these words escaped from, ladies... Husband dearest, darling mine, swore the Hypocritic Oath to me last night.  He did it as the result of a test I'd formulated.  After a bit of snooping, I discovered an email he'd sent to the Canadian Slut. She had finally noticed that I'd deleted her from his list of FB friends and had emailed him to ask why... this was his response...

"hey C,

nice to hear from you.  Actually - I didn't delete you from facebook - but you do appear to be gone from my friends list!  Very curious...  

I've been away on business the past week - in Hong Kong and hadn't logged in to facebook since about yesterday I don't think - but I just had to brag about the gorgeous silk ties I bought at monkok (!)... I've been working to grow our business into HK and it's going very well.  Actually, our business is going so well we're talking about moving into North America as a market... 

So, whats happened lately, S brought up our time in Miami a few weeks ago for some reason or other and has been churning over lots of things in her past relationships and somehow made an emotional connection with the way I'd talked about how I felt about you and some other stuff with other guys bla bla - makes me a little uncertain as to whether perhaps I'd left myself logged into to facebook on her notebook before I left for HK and she's done some pruning of my friends list in the mean time!  Unless someone has used your computer and deleted me as your friend of course!!! :p

Well - in any case - it's a bit odd but not relevant to any emotion on my part.  In fact every now and then I log into to facebook or messenger just incase you're about and I can say hi.  My last email to you on facebook said it all... you are missed my dear."

Not the words of a remorseful man, I'm sure you'd agree.  I'd also like you to note the subtle way he's indicated that there will be more trips to North America, whereby he might be in a position to cheat on me again. It was in that moment, I hatched a cunning plan.  I was going to do to him what he did to me.  I was going to plan a rendezvous with another man, go out with him, get drunk with him and fuck him to within an inch of his life.  Except I was going to be honest (please note I use this word very loosely) with my husband and tell him what I was planning to do before the actual event.

His reaction was completely predictable and exactly what I was hoping for - he freaked out! He was so shocked and taken aback - he actually stopped breathing for a minute and nearly fainted. He ranted and raved for a while, saying that after all the work we've been doing to save our relationship, why would I do something like that, why would I want to jeopardise our marriage, how would he ever be able to trust me again, how could I hurt him like that?  Then of course, there was the "I can't tell you what to do and I'm not one to give ultimatums, but if you do go ahead with this plan of action you'll have to move out and tell people we've broken up" line.

And there it was, hypocrisy in all of it's glory.  I sweetly reminded him that I was merely giving him the courtesy of disclosure he denied me.  I was giving him the right to choose what happened next in our relationship instead of going behind his back like he went behind mine.  I reminded him I hadn't actually done anything, so there was no harm done. He still wasn't convinced, so I sent a bogus text message to a friend of mine (with whom I had pre-arranged all of this cunning plan) to say I was cancelling the rendezvous.  Husband was so relieved.  And finally his eyes were opened to the pain I have been carrying around for all of these weeks.  An eye-opener, he called it.  We shall see.

I'm still burning with anger at the email he sent Canadian Slut, but tomorrow night we have therapy, so it will no doubt be raised.  The only upside of finding that email, is that I lost another 800g, so am now getting closer to that elusive 70kg.  I haven't been counting my calories over the last few days, but my intake has been minimal, so far today, I've only had a black coffee, apple and half piece of dry toast.  I think that will suffice as well.  Back on the cross trainer I shall haul my fat ass, so that as I get skinnier and more beautiful, the more my husband will realise that his tenuous grasp of fidelity will become firmer, or he will lose me.

That's all for now.

Bless to all, S xx